Whether you like it or not, sometimes life just plain ole' sucks. This summer, I managed to graduate university with minimal debt, a framed certificate and dreams of world domination. Fast forward a couple of months and I am currently living at my parent's house, away from the friends and the city that I loved and finding myself being rejected for practically every job I apply for (not that I particuarly wanted to be a hotel maid, but it's still disheartening nonetheless). Not quite the glorious future I had in mind, but as a wise philosopher once said: shit happens. The world isn't all smiles and unicorns and there will be times where you struggle, but life doesn't owe you anything so there's no use in crying until you get your own way. Instead of trying to find solice in the bottom of a beer bottle or a tub of Ben & Jerry's, have a flick through some of my own tried-and-tested tips for making the best of a bad situation.
- Even if you don't feel particularly powerful at the moment, realise that if you manage to get through this patch of your life, you'll be a stronger person for it. It's easy to be happy and cheery and full of zest for life when things are going well and what you want comes easy, but what will really test you is if you can keep that same state of mind when things are in the crapper. Once you realise that your happiness is not dependant on your situation, but in the ways you choose to perceive and act upon it, then there will be little in this life that will be able to throw you off track
- Be careful with your money. Although fashion magazines taught me otherwise, it turned out that buying shiny new nail polishes and illuminating creams did not solve my happiness problems. They may have given me a temporary boost, but they did nothing to solve my bigger problems and spending money on impulse buys can screw up your attitude towards money and lead to more anxiety. I find it's better to save your money and use it towards improving your situation, like a flat deposit or car payments or just towards some wild adventure you have planned for the future
- It's easy to feel aimless when the things you want in life aren't coming easy to you, so get productive. Think hard about your situation and what you can be doing to better it. Make an action plan for the year, one month to each page, and list all the things you want to achieve in that time. A problem like not being able to afford your own place or being in a job you hate is easier to deal with if you can see that it has a forseeable end that you can work towards
- Make a playlist of music that leaves you wanting to throw up your hands and be all: 'life isn't perfect but it's beautiful, so screw it'. Here's my own Youtube playlist, and yes it does have Don't Stop Believin' in it and yes you know you love that song
- Read. Reading is free if you have a library card or if you have friends who are willing to share. Read classics, read trashy romance novels, read non-fiction books about space; embrace the beauty of words and know that as long as there libraries and audio books and dusty second hand book stores and strangers who leave books on train seats, you will always have access to worlds much bigger than you
- Don't pine for your past. Leaving university and moving away from a city that I loved was hard and for a while after, I was in deep despair. Having to get a bus into town when I was used to living in the centre of the action, no longer being surrounded by old castle ruins and bars that played hair metal and served fruity cocktails, and even just the thought of someone new living in my old apartment using MY cupboards and MY shower; it all took a while to adjust to. Once I got over the initial pity party, I saw that instead of sulking around because I wanted to go back in time and relive my university years, I should see how lucky I was that I had such a great time and was able to leave with memories that brought me so much happiness. It's easy to romanticise the past when your present isn't quite how you wanted, but don't obsess over it. Write down a list of all the awesome memories you have, read over them, appreciate them for what they are and keep your eyes to the future
- It's such a cliche, but watch movies that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Some of my favourite ones to watch when I feel like the mean ole' world is against me are: School of Rock, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Bridesmaids, The Sweetest Thing, Steel Magnolias, and, just to remind myself that things can be a whole lot worse, Hostel
- Make plans. They can be anything from arranging a late night drive to Burger King with a friend and a working car stereo to buying old, beaten up tour guides for a cross country roadtrip, but having something in the future to look forward to makes living in the present a whole lot nicer.
- Taken from Sadie Nardini's Road Trip Guide to the Soul, make a list of how your 'perfect life' would be. Overlook dumb things like 'be a millionaire' and 'be married to Hottie McHotstuff' and think hard about it; what would you have for breakfast? Whereabouts would you live? Would you shower or bath? How would you make your money? Once you've finished your list, come up with three ways you might be able to achieve, or come close to, each point. Do you dream of living abroad? Scour Amazon for books on immigration and learn to cook the national dishes. Would you like to be a writer? Join a local writer's group, research online competitions and schedule yourself in daily time to write. Want to wake up to a kickass breakfast each day? Wake up twenty minutes early and find a recipe for blueberry pancakes. Put these action points into your monthly plan so that you feel like you're progressing towards the life you want
- Focus on the little things. Sometimes constantly focusing on the big picture i.e. 'I'm unemployed, living at my parent's house, with no car and I have split ends' can be overwhelming. Take a step back and try to focus on the little things in life that make you smile, like fresh orange juice at breakfast or a funny looking cloud or listening Good Charlotte's The Young and the Hopeless album and realising you still know all the words
Useful reading
'Is the Pursuit of Happiness a Bunch of Bullshit', '100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now', 'How To Write a Personal Mission Statement' (I admit I'm a slight Gala Darling fangirl)
39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist is good for inspiration
