How to: Make the Best of a Bad Situation

Disclaimer: This article is intended for people who are in a bit of a funk; maybe for people who are stuck in a crappy job, who have come out of a relationship or who just need a bit of an adjustment of attitude. I am by no means trying to offer advice for people going through chronic, longterm hardship or people with mental health problems, both of who I would instead urge to seek professional help wherever they can find it

Image location

Whether you like it or not, sometimes life just plain ole' sucks. This summer, I managed to graduate university with minimal debt, a framed certificate and dreams of world domination. Fast forward a couple of months and I am currently living at my parent's house, away from the friends and the city that I loved and finding myself being rejected for practically every job I apply for (not that I particuarly wanted to be a hotel maid, but it's still disheartening nonetheless). Not quite the glorious future I had in mind, but as a wise philosopher once said: shit happens. The world isn't all smiles and unicorns and there will be times where you struggle, but life doesn't owe you anything so there's no use in crying until you get your own way. Instead of trying to find solice in the bottom of a beer bottle or a tub of Ben & Jerry's, have a flick through some of my own tried-and-tested tips for making the best of a bad situation.

- Even if you don't feel particularly powerful at the moment, realise that if you manage to get through this patch of your life, you'll be a stronger person for it. It's easy to be happy and cheery and full of zest for life when things are going well and what you want comes easy, but what will really test you is if you can keep that same state of mind when things are in the crapper. Once you realise that your happiness is not dependant on your situation, but in the ways you choose to perceive and act upon it, then there will be little in this life that will be able to throw you off track

- Be careful with your money. Although fashion magazines taught me otherwise, it turned out that buying shiny new nail polishes and illuminating creams did not solve my happiness problems. They may have given me a temporary boost, but they did nothing to solve my bigger problems and spending money on impulse buys can screw up your attitude towards money and lead to more anxiety. I find it's better to save your money and use it towards improving your situation, like a flat deposit or car payments or just towards some wild adventure you have planned for the future

- It's easy to feel aimless when the things you want in life aren't coming easy to you, so get productive. Think hard about your situation and what you can be doing to better it. Make an action plan for the year, one month to each page, and list all the things you want to achieve in that time. A problem like not being able to afford your own place or being in a job you hate is easier to deal with if you can see that it has a forseeable end that you can work towards

- Make a playlist of music that leaves you wanting to throw up your hands and be all: 'life isn't perfect but it's beautiful, so screw it'. Here's my own Youtube playlist, and yes it does have Don't Stop Believin' in it and yes you know you love that song

Image location

- It's easy to get fixated on your own problems so a good way to get out of your head and to put things into perspective is to give back. Look around for any volunteering opportunities in your area, educate yourself on worthwhile causes and social movements or make a committed effort to be more thoughtful to those around you

- Read. Reading is free if you have a library card or if you have friends who are willing to share. Read classics, read trashy romance novels, read non-fiction books about space; embrace the beauty of words and know that as long as there libraries and audio books and dusty second hand book stores and strangers who leave books on train seats, you will always have access to worlds much bigger than you

- Don't pine for your past. Leaving university and moving away from a city that I loved was hard and for a while after, I was in deep despair. Having to get a bus into town when I was used to living in the centre of the action, no longer being surrounded by old castle ruins and bars that played hair metal and served fruity cocktails, and even just the thought of someone new living in my old apartment using MY cupboards and MY shower; it all took a while to adjust to. Once I got over the initial pity party, I saw that instead of sulking around because I wanted to go back in time and relive my university years, I should see how lucky I was that I had such a great time and was able to leave with memories that brought me so much happiness. It's easy to romanticise the past when your present isn't quite how you wanted, but don't obsess over it. Write down a list of all the awesome memories you have, read over them, appreciate them for what they are and keep your eyes to the future

- It's such a cliche, but watch movies that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Some of my favourite ones to watch when I feel like the mean ole' world is against me are: School of Rock, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Bridesmaids, The Sweetest Thing, Steel Magnolias, and, just to remind myself that things can be a whole lot worse, Hostel

- Make plans. They can be anything from arranging a late night drive to Burger King with a friend and a working car stereo to buying old, beaten up tour guides for a cross country roadtrip, but having something in the future to look forward to makes living in the present a whole lot nicer.

 Image location

- Taken from Sadie Nardini's Road Trip Guide to the Soul, make a list of how your 'perfect life' would be. Overlook dumb things like 'be a millionaire' and 'be married to Hottie McHotstuff' and think hard about it; what would you have for breakfast? Whereabouts would you live? Would you shower or bath? How would you make your money? Once you've finished your list, come up with three ways you might be able to achieve, or come close to, each point. Do you dream of living abroad? Scour Amazon for books on immigration and learn to cook the national dishes. Would you like to be a writer? Join a local writer's group, research online competitions and schedule yourself in daily time to write. Want to wake up to a kickass breakfast each day? Wake up twenty minutes early and find a recipe for blueberry pancakes. Put these action points into your monthly plan so that you feel like you're progressing towards the life you want

- Focus on the little things. Sometimes constantly focusing on the big picture i.e. 'I'm unemployed, living at my parent's house, with no car and I have split ends' can be overwhelming. Take a step back and try to focus on the little things in life that make you smile, like fresh orange juice at breakfast or a funny looking cloud or listening Good Charlotte's The Young and the Hopeless album and realising you still know all the words

 Image location

- Most importantly, don't compare yourself to other people. It's easy to look at other people in your life or the people you see online and think that they are doing everything right. They have solid career plans, wild travelling plans and awe-inducing Instagram accounts and you can't help but think your life sucks in comparison. Big shocker though: nobody's life is perfect. Everyone has their shitty days, their days when they do nothing but lie around in their pyjamas and watch old Friends reruns, their days when they have no idea what the hell they're doing with their lives. You can use them as life inspiration and as a little motivational kick-in-the-butt, but remember that anyone's life can look perfect when they don't share all the bad stuff and that there's bound to be someone out there who would kill for your life right now

Useful reading
 'Is the Pursuit of Happiness a Bunch of Bullshit', '100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now', 'How To Write a Personal Mission Statement' (I admit I'm a slight Gala Darling fangirl)
39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist is good  for inspiration

'Oh Make Me Over' The Style of: Alicia Silverstone in the Aerosmith Videos

Aerosmith - Cryin' 

 Aerosmith - Crazy

Everytime I wear plaid or fadded, ripped jeans, I'm secretly trying to channel Alicia Silverstone in those Aerosmith videos because OMIGOD DID YOU SEE HOW COOL SHE IS AND THAT BELLY RING AND WOW IS THAT SAWYER FROM LOST?? I think this look is the perfect mix of the sweet, girl-next-door babysitter and the too-cool teenage bully from your childhood. One of the great things about this look is how low maintenance it seems; a quick sweep of mascara, a little lip stain, a pair of battered Dr Martens and you're ready to dazzle some small-town gas station attendants and commit pretend-suicide. Embrace the denim-on-denim and the excessive use of plaid (duh, 90's) and bear in mind that the three best accessories a girl can have are her hair, her give em' hell attitude and her Mustang.

 1- Levis Demi Curve Straight Jeans £85
2 - Lush American Cream Conditioner £8.90/250g
3 - Chapstick in Cherry £1.05
4 - ASOS Hearts&Bows Boyfriend Checked Shirt £27.99
5 - Marks and Spencers Black Embroidered Bra £22.50
6 - ASOS Pieces Fray Leather Jeans Belt £12
7 - Maybelline Great Lash Mascara £4.99
8 - Topshop MOTO Bleach Sleeveless Jacket £35
9 - ASOS 90's Crop Top £7
10 - New Look Checked Tie Up Shirt £6
11 - Accessorize Basic Flat Top Sunglasses £10
12 - Rokit Black Floral Print Dress £30
13 - ASOS Badlands Bad Studded Vintage Denim Hotpants £48
14 - Lush Marilyn Hair Moisturiser £8.95/225g
15 - The Very Best of: Aerosmith £6.99
16 - Topshop Two Tone Sloppy Sweater £25
17 - Urban Outfitters Aztec Rucksack £48
18 - Rokit Brown and Blue Flower Print Dress £35  
19 - Red Herring White Lace Trim Camisole £8 
20 - Benetint Lip Stain £25
21 - Dr Martens 1460 Boot £110

25 Things to Do Before Autumn Ends

If you’re anything like me, you don’t like to wait around and let stuff just happen, and a way to combat this is to write a list because when you make a list, you just seem to get shit done. Nothing in life feels unachievable when you colour coordinate. Sometimes even fun-time needs a little extra organisation so instead of letting this autumn pass you by, indulge in the seasons clichés and make this autumn the most action-packed, cinnamon-scented, spine-tingliest, gourd-filled one ever. 

1 – Go Apple Picking

You can’t have autumn without apples; they both begin with the letter 'a' and everything. Google orchards and farms near you to see if they run any pick-your-own services, and then spend a few hours picking the trees bare. Once you’ve gathered your bounty, coat them in caramel and sprinkles or slice them up and ask your ma or pa for their best pie recipe

Image location 

2 – Visit a Halloween Haunt Fest or Ghost Walk

With a little help from Google, you’re bound to discover some hidden Halloween event in your neighbourhood. Be it a ghost walk though the more macabre parts of town, a bar serving Halloween themed cocktails or a place going all out with scary themed haunts and people jumping out at you in costume, be prepared to get scared (that rhymed and I didn’t even mean it to)

3 – Carve a Pumpkin

Appease your inner kiddie by watching the classic horror movies of your childhood like Hocus Pocus, Halloweentown or any of The Simpsons Tree House of Horror, and then stabbing the shit out of an innocent pumpkin. Carve something wild and intricate and go with the classic jack o’ lantern smile. Save the pumpkin seeds though, lots of fibre in pumpkin seeds.
 

Image location

4 – Find the Scent of Autumn

Unlike other seasons, I feel that autumn has a really specific fragrance and these Betty Crocker apple pie and cinnamon roll scented candles have me hankering for fallen leaves, even in the midst of summer. Scour local cheap shops for similar scents, and if you’re feeling cocky, you could always DIY your own by tying cinnamon sticks around a candle with twine

5 – Donate for Harvest

With the bountiful nature of harvest, or maybe just too many cans in your cupboard, now’s the time to give back to your community. See if your local church or community groups is collecting food donation or check in with a nearby homeless shelter to see if they need volunteers. Pledge as much food or time as you can spare and rack up some karma point

6 – Go on a Walk

The scenery in autumn really can’t be beat. The sight of golden leaves, fields of corn and apple trees show nature at its idyllic best, sooo... why are you still sitting indoors? Grab a camera, or some paper and crayons if you're broke, and stroll round your neighbourhood

 Image location

7 – Read Up On Halloween Folklore

Halloween is a holiday with such a rich history, so take some time to learn it with Halloween: An American Holiday, and AmericanHistory. Read about the origin of the jack o’ lantern, laugh at old-timey Halloween divination techniques and generally just make like a Winchester brother by revelling in folklore

8 – Visit a Corn Maze

Because nothing screams autumn more than getting lost in a field of carefully sculpted corn. Split up into teams to see who has the best time, or sneak in a flask of whiskey to make things really interesting. Or terrifying. Or hilarious. Or sad. I guess it depends on what kind of drunk you are. Most corn maze places also offer hay rides, so if you’ve had enough of corn (if that’s possible) enjoy the world from on top a bale of hay

9 – Send Trick or Treat Care Packages

What better way to share the spirit of Halloween and refined sugar by sending trick or treat care packages to your friends. Raid the shop aisles for fun sized chocolate bars (although seriously, to live up to its name, a real fun sized chocolate bar would be the size of a brick) and gory gummy sweets. Wrap them in black and orange paper, and to make it extra cute include a pair of plastic vampire fangs, since your friend will probably need new teeth with all that sugar

Image location

10 – Hold a Classic Horror Movie Marathon

Indulge your inner masochist and spend an evening watching the most nail-biting, butt-clenching, hair-raising movies you can possibly stomach you can possibly stomach. For real gore, I recommend  Hostel 1&2, the Final Destination series and any movie with zombies

11 – Buy Back-to-School Supplies

If like me you’re past the age of schooling but still the love the thrill of new stationery, screw society and treat yourself to some back-to-school supplies anyway. A fresh pad of Post-it notes, a new organiser and some kitschy crap scented pens can really do wonders your productivity

12 – Make S’mores

If you don’t have access to a roaring bonfire but still feel entitled to a little roasted marshmallow action, why not line a terracotta pot with tinfoil, fill with some lighted charcoal briquettes and place in a heatproof bowl for some tabletop s’mores? Lick melted marshmallow off your fingers, drink some beer and tell ghost stories under the autumn moon

Image location

13 – Celebrate Guy Fawkes Night

There’s nothing quite like celebrating a thwarted mass murder attempt than with sparkles and a bonfire. Celebrate 5^th November in style by cooking up a big pot of chilli, wrapping up in a chunky scarf, cutting a slice of warm apple pie and watching fireworks explode in the sky

14 – Go Shopping for New Gloves

When the temperature does start to fall, avoid frostbite and the consequent harrowing surgery by buying a new, fancy-ass pair of gloves. If you can splash out, go crazy with a matching scarf and hat, or go even crazier with a MISMATCHING scarf and hat; the choice is yours, you crazy wild thing

15 – Embrace Fall Fashion

I hate summer fashion. As soon as the bikinis hit the stores, I count down the days until the temperature drops because it seems as though as the best clothes were made for the cold. Leather jackets, plaid shirts, thick black tights, chunky boots; clothes that keep you snuggly warm and looking badass at the same time

Image location

16 – Make a Fall Wreath

Wreaths are not just confined for Christmas anymore, so break out the hot glue gun and dig deep into your pinecone collection. Hang it on your door to impress the neighbours, or use it as a table centrepiece if you’re paranoid about unruly pinecone thieves

17 – Brew Apple Cider

If you want to get in on the apple theme of autumn but you’re not one for pies or picking caramel off of your teeth, embrace the apple in its liquid (and slightly potent) form of cider. Invite people over for some home brewed cider and if you’re really looking to impress, peel a few apples and carve faces in them to make floating shrunken heads because as we all know, it’s not a party until there’s mutilated body parts in the punch

18 – Buy a Pie Dish

See if you can find an old pie dish at a boot fair or charity shop, or steal one from your parents kitchen and save yourself some money, and spend the afternoon experimenting with roll-up pastry. Whether you choose a sweet or savoury filling, make sure to add cute little pastry shapes on the top of the pie. After all, pastry is an art medium, way up there with crayons and glitter

Image location

19 – Get a Library Card

Autumn weather may suck at times, so use this opportunity to indulge your inner bookworm. Sign up for a card at your local library and peruse the shelves for books to while away the hours with. For me, no autumn is complete without Stephen King and since he’s written so many damn books, you’re sure to find at least a few in any library. Carrie, The Shining and The Night Shift are my particular favourites

20 – Have a Halloween Craft Day

Halloween gives the best crafting opportunities (and Pinterest fodder) because you get to cover shit in red paint and fake cobwebs. Even if you’re not throwing a party, why not try your hand at a few pieces to dot around, because nothing brightens up a room like plastic skeletons. Watch Trick R Treat and get your hands dirty

21 – Play in a Pile of Leaves

When the leaves start to fall, spice up your daily commute and walk through piles of crunchy leaves, attempt to catch a falling leaf for a wish or if you’re feeling particularly reckless, go the whole hog and roll around like the free spirit you are. Just make sure you have a good excuse as to why you’re ten minutes late with leaf debris in your hair

Image location

22 – Bake Sugar Skull Cookies

The Mexican Dias de Los Muertos (or Day of the Dead) is a really beautiful Halloween celebration. People get together to remember loved ones by telling stories and hold picnic in graveyards to offer marigolds, tequila and sugar cookies to the deceased. To me that seems like a really nice way of honouring the life of someone, and not just because tequila’s involved. Bring a little of Day of the Dead into your celebrations by baking your own sugar skull cookies.  Although they can get a bit fiddly, they will look like the real deal and everyone will be super jealous at how awesome you are

23 – Plan a Thanksgiving Dinner

Even if you’re not American, why should you miss the chance for a delicious explosion of carbs? Head over to Martha Stewart for a little Thanksgiving inspiration and start planning entrees and table settings. Invite your nearest and dearest round for an evening of good food, booze and cheesy Hallmark moments

24 – Bake

Autumn and baking go hand in hand, after all winter is coming so it’s about time to start piling on that protective layer of insulation. Scroll through the Food Network website or pile through dusty cookbooks if you’re feeling retro. These recipes for pumpkin muffins, cinnamon rolls and pecan pie will fill your kitchen, and stomachs, with the spirit of autumn

 Image location

25 – Plan a Halloween Party

If you’re fortunate (and awesome) enough to be throwing your own Halloween party this year, keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming Halloween party plan feature. It’ll scare you sensible

'Oh Make Me Over' The Style of: Gillian Owens (Practical Magic)

All images from Practical Magic (1998)

Although she may not have had the best taste in men, Gillian Owens had a look that, ever since the tender age of ten years old, has me weak at the knees. Born into a family of cursed witches, Gillian rocked the role of carefree heartbreaker; driving men wild with her long red hair, her snake wrist tattoo and porcelain white skin. Her wardrobe resembled the greatest hits of nineties fashion; slip dresses layered under scratchy cardigans, midriff-baring tops teamed with billowing maxi skirts, chunky mule shoes, thick eyeliner and an unashamed affection for belly chains.

So make like Gillian and chow down your chocolate brownie for breakfast, belt out Joni Mitchell's A Case of You in the shower and make sure to keep your tiger's eye near. Just remember that tequila is best when enjoyed in moderation and when it's not possessed by the evil spirit for your ex-lover, and that the best time for margaritas is obviously midnight.


 
1 - Topshop Knitted Zip Front Cardigan £42
2 - H&M Black Night Slip £12.99
3 - Amazon Golden Tiger's Eye Bullet Stirling Silver Pendant £14.95
4 - Topshop Skeleton Ring £7.50
5 - Warehouse Brushstroke Maxi Skirt £42
6 - 'Blue' by Joni Mitchell's £4.79
7 - ASOS 90's Crop Top £7
8 - Lush Caca Rouge Henna £7.95
9 - Mary Portas High Waisted Coated Jeans £85
10 - Biba Eli Bootcut Jeans £55.20
11 - Topshop Jade Ring £7.50
12 - ASOS AMEZ Suede High Ankle Boots £75
13 - Tan Leather Look Biker Jacket £50
14 - ASOS River Island Round Sunglasses £13
15 - Accessorize Ikat Traveller Rucksack £35
16 - Zippo Brushed Chrome Lighter £9.34
17 - Essie Nail Polish in Liquorice £9.95
18 - Lipstick Queen in Berry Sinner £18
19 - Neon Hart Velvet Bustier £21
20 - 'Hypnotic Poision' by Christian Dior 50ml £44.75
21 - Jose Cuervo Especial Gold Tequila £19.93